My goal for the 2017 season, apart from hitting 60% (more on that later), was to revolutionize the tout industry by being transparent with the picks we were making, the way we made these picks, and the style in which they were sent.
All game line plays are made using the current number at PinnacleSports.com, thus ensuring our clients are all able to find a fair line on our plays. Most importantly, we made sure to send our plays well in advance of the start time, avoiding the common tout tactic of touting your plays once the games had begun, or were over.
As the season ended, I was saddened to have failed in both regards.
The first was my fault. We only hit 59.23% of our game line plays, very embarrassing to have fallen short of our 60% goal. Not even our 58.93% win rate on props could brighten my day. While a great result for many online gamblers, I apologize for failing.
At least, I thought, I did it honestly…
I have a healthy distrust of the internet. I believe my phone listens to me in order to target advertisements when I visit websites. Who knows what else it listens too? Turns out, it may have heard me constantly bashing the internet as the civilization ruining cesspool that it is, and decided to strike back.
Now, I do not know how things work “online”, but one thing I know for sure is that Apple contacted Google who in turn had Gmail sabotage my final tout email of the season. It was “lost” in “cyberspace”, included within were props plays that would eventually break even.
THAT IS NOT THE POINT.
The email was sent on Sunday, but was only received by the intended recipients on Tuesday. On the final email of the regular season, the internet conspired against me in order to make me a dishonest tout. I had sent plays a full 2 days after the game was over. Adding insult to injury, those plays only went 8-7.
To the casual observer I had failed twice; first in sending plays 2 days after the games were complete and second not providing more winning plays in the 2 days late email.
“Put down the pipe AG” was the first response… “What are these plays”…
Once I had put the pipe down, I knew what had happened. My phone had listened to me, only this time it had sought revenge.
Is this the most plausible explanation for what happened? I think we can all agree that it is. Therefore, there is only one reasonable response:
Get fucked Bill Gates.
Game Lines: 1-3
Tampa Bay +7 W
Jacksonville +3 -110 L
Panthers +4 L
Miami +2.5 L
Bilal Powell (NYJ) Rushing Yards u58.5 -115 W
Robby Anderson (NYJ) Receiving Yards u60.5 -120 W
Matt Ryan (ATL) Completions u22.5 -110 L
Matt Ryan (ATL) Passing Yards u267.5 -120 L
Mohammed Sanu (ATL) Receiving Yards u47.5 +100 L
Christian McCaffrey (CAR) Rush+Receiving Yards u74.5 -110 W
Bryce Petty (NYJ) Completions u17.5 -145 L
Rob Gronkowski (NE) Receiving Yards u80.5 -135 W
Brandin Cooks (NE) Receiving Yards u67.5 -130 L
Bengals TT u14.5 +100 and u16 -130 L,L
Ravens TT u24.5 -115 L
Eagles TT u17.5 -105 and u19 -125 W,W
Raiders TT u17.5 -110 W
Chiefs TT o16.5 -115 W
Broncos TT u21 -115 L
Internet Stolen Props 7-6
Mike Evans (TB) Receptions o5 +125 P
Alvin Kamara (NO) Rushing Yards o45.5 -120 L
Jimmy Graham (SEA) Receiving Yards o33.5 +135 W
Jimmy Graham (SEA) Receptions o3.5 +145 L
LeSean McCoy (BUF) Receiving Yards u30.5 -135 W
Kenyon Drake (MIA) Receiving Yards u25.5 -110 W
Michael Thomas (NO) Receiving Yards o79.5 +145 W
Jimmy Graham (SEA) Receiving Yards o32.5 +110 W
Matt Ryan (ATL) Completions u22.5 -105 L
Matt Ryan (ATL) Passing Yards u269.5 -125 L
Mohammed Sanu (ATL) Receiving Yards u48.5 -115 L
Bucs TT o21.5 -110 W
Chiefs TT o16.5 -125 W
Broncos TT u21 -125 L
Game Lines Season: 77-53-6 (59.23%)
Props Season: 627-437-5 (58.93%)