SIN Update for December 2019

Lobster Relaxing in Hot Tup

I’m pretty sure you were owed this update a few months ago but as they say, “life gets in the way”. Everyone involved in the Sports Information Network is obviously quite busy with gambling, numerous luxury vacations to Central America, and of course, searching out the finest lobsters in the world – whilst always perfectly pairing it with the perfect wine.

So let’s get to the main question people have been sending in over the last few months, “Where the f*** is the best NFL gambling prediction model the world has ever seen?” Well, it technically didn’t go anywhere and has been used each and every week throughout the 2019 season to win specific SIN members thousands and thousands of dollars along the way. The only difference is that it wasn’t made available for sale to the public this year.

The decision not to do the tout for 2019 was a hard one, but one that had to be taken nonetheless. There were multiple factors that came into play: no one wanted to screw around with Pay Pal, no one wanted to be responsible for emailing out the plays 3 to 10 times a week, the former Captain of the ship was unable to provide his amazing game plays in addition to the props sheets, and everything just fell apart quite naturally. Sad!

Sports Information Network Background

However, in my humble opinion, the #1 reason the NFL tout didn’t happen is because… no one cared. Honestly, at the end of the day, the stable geniuses who make the sheets and prediction models didn’t care if they sold them to the public. As I’ve written a million times: they don’t need the money and never did. Week after week I would bang the drum and explain to the Internet that these guys were basically doing it as a favor to me because I hounded them for years every time we got together to party. I honestly felt (and still feel) that their talents should be shared with the world.

SIN Scarface Movie PosterFinally, I caught them at a moment of extreme weakness around a bonfire in late August of 2017 and made them all promise that we would do it. When they all sobered up a few days later and realized what they had agreed to, they hated me for it (and rightly so), but still agreed to proceed with the venture because they are men of their words. Tony Montana said it best, “All I have in this world is my word and my balls – and I don’t break them for nobody.”

So during the 2017 season we stumbled through and learned on the fly how to run a paid online tout service. There were customer service issues, “Where are the picks? Are the picks coming? Did you already send the picks?” etc. There were payment issues, “I can’t buy through Pay Pal because my wife will find out – do you take Ripple?” And sometimes there were even angry people on Twitter, “Hey! The free picks you gave out lost! WTF!” Now do you understand how very wealthy professional gamblers who already hate everything and everybody might have quickly gotten tired with the tout business?

Of course the above situations were rare in comparison to the large number of great people we met through the Internet. As someone who had never Tweeted before, joined Facebook groups, or really talked to strangers of any kind, I was very surprised with the quality of people that I ended up “eMeeting” and conversing with. Twitter is so strange to me – the people who Tweet publicly are shit-talking 99% of the time (me included) but those who lurk and just DM are actually quite nice. We even found a few extra members like Buster “Blue Moon” Babbitt and Doc Holloway and gave them a platform for their products (see – we really are nice guys!).

Anyway, the tout was fun, it won more often than it lost, and most importantly, it made people happy. Remember – I know absolutely nothing about professional gambling and I’m a textbook “retail bettor” who enjoys nothing more than donking away my “bankroll” on 8 team parlays, so I benefited more than most. I know I’m stupid, I know I won’t win, and I really don’t give a crap – it’s just how I like to get down. That’s why these other guys always make fun of me when we meet up – we all make stacks of paper through the best professional NFL betting system ever created, but I’m the only idiot who wastes the vast majority of it on stupid bets that will never win. Meh, whatever.

The Most Trusted Gambling Experts in the World

There is one fantastic silver lining in not having an NFL Tout for 2019 that can never be taken away from us: now everyone in the world knows they can trust the Sports Information Network 100% to always deliver a quality product,  (if we were to ever offer one in the future, that is). It would have been very easy for any of us to claim that we were going to do the tout again, get everyone’s money, send out garbage sheets for a weeks, and then back our bags and close the site down before anyone figured out the scam. Don’t scoff – this has happened tons of times in this “exciting and honorable” industry.

SIN Scarface FountainHowever, those who were with us from the beginning know that the above scenario would never happen because again, no one here needs the money and we are literally the “Touts of the People”. It’s fun to share gambling secrets and get a little extra wine money in the process, but this actually leads us to what I *think* was another reason a few of the boys pulled out: recognition.

Now in order to fully understand the mindset of professional gamblers it’s necessary to know what drives them. Of course the cash is #1 but the one thing that unifies them all (based on my many years of experience) is that they all love to be right. It’s the greatest feeling in the world to them. This why these jackasses will bet on anything fr0m “which elevator door will open first” to “what type of drinks did the table across the restaurant order”. Sure they’re filthy degenerates at their core, but what really gets them high is the smug feeling of predicting something correctly.

Therefore, when two of the guys teamed up to sell two full seasons of winning NFL picks and didn’t get mentioned in one of the millions of gambling articles published on the internet, I’m sure that hurt their pride. They made members money, were fully transparent with the results each week, yet none of the so called “industry leaders in sports information” came asking for an interview. Even though thousands of sports sites were now scrambling to pump out as much gambling content as they possibly could to try to get in on the gravy train that was pulling up to the station.

Of course I have no way of proving this is how they truly felt so you’ll just have to trust my instincts on this one. Go look at the number of people following some of these Twitter Douchebag Touts who have no idea what they’re talking about and then look at the SIN account. Well actually, I probably have to personally take the blame for that one – I guess the world just wasn’t ready for lobster-based sports gambling entertainment.

SIN Member Updates

Since I’m sure you’re all dying to know, here are some quick updates on the various members of SIN. Some reports are fresher than others because it’s impossible to keep tabs on everyone in this motley crew and they’re always bouncing around the planet. As always, you couldn’t make this stuff up.


Still has the status of “no longer affiliated with this website” and is regularly spotted at the Del Rey “Hotel”, usually throwing around money, drinks, and terrible gambling opinions to anyone stupid enough to sit next to him for longer than 30 seconds. It’s been reported that he’s leading a shallow life revolving around his enormous personal wealth, while secretly loathing the person he’s become. Money doesn’t buy happiness, folks – only lobsters.

Jacques Tannenbaum

This peculiar recluse who happens to create amazing NFL player prop prediction models has basically dropped off the face of the earth. He no longer joins the group for weekly smoked meat sandwiches or occasional fine dining and is presumably sitting in his basement in front of his wall of televisions and phoning in bets to his numerous bookies at this very moment. We hope to see him again soon.

Liam Mahoney

The cleanest, soberest, and most professional member of the Sports Information Network by far, Liam has continued to do what he does best: grind out a spectacular living by finding edges in the betting market and hammering weak lines. He of course has his own prediction models and methods which have proven themselves to work quite well over the past decade. Liam shows no signs of slowing down and I might even be able to talk him into doing a NCAAF Bowl tout in a few weeks – keep your fingers crossed.

Angelo Di Traglia

Angelo and Maurizio realized that their NBA prediction model worked so damn well they didn’t need nor want to sell it anymore. This is totally understandable and we wish them well – in fact, AnonymousGamblr still gets his hair cut there. Anyway, the stereotypical Italian brothers use their prediction model to fleece any online sportsbook that’ll accept their action and word has it these two Mediterranean Meatballs now have a few extra sports cars parked in their driveways.

It’s also worth noting that Angelo basically became a millionaire when he sold his Ripple at it’s peak of $3 a while back so it was only a matter of time before he bailed on this revolutionary conglomerate.

Dick Knotts

Speaking of family members you can’t legally separate from, Dick Knotts is still on a life-long bender, inhaling any alcoholic beverages or crustaceans that are placed in front of him. He’s still in Central America, still on a beach, and is probably still the crankiest bastard around for hundreds of miles. The boys started a death pool for him and someone actually took under 2023 – here’s hoping they’re wrong and Richard can turn his life around.

Charles Hammer

So what of your faithful friend and humble narrator? Well, as a result of the excellent content and graphic design that you’ve all enjoyed on this website over the past few years, I was head-hunted to go work for another refined organization, which of course isn’t surprising at all. My memes are breathtaking.

Someone slid into my DMs and made me an offer I couldn’t refuse so now I sell them my excellent marketing advice, helping them generate revenues the likes they’ve never seen before. I’ve quickly made a name for myself there and it never ceases to amaze me how many incompetent people actually have good jobs in this world, but that’s a topic for another time.

Rest assured that I will continue to pester the various members of the Sports Information Network to do more touts in the future. However, since none of them need the cash and now shun fame, it’s definitely going to be an uphill battle.

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